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maliit na bato
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Tuesday, August 05, 2008
can't sleep
I need to.
It's late.
I have to wake up really early tomorrow.
I mean later.
I would regret staying up this late.
I know.
Hell.
This is frustrating.
I value rest.
I value sleep.
And I'm not getting any.
My stomach rumbles.
I'm days away from ulcer scare.
I know.
I can feel it.
I must close my eyes.
Must sleep.
Must throw this ugly throw pillow from an ugly person.
Why is it still here?
I threw it away years ago.
Must kiss Garfield and Ernie goodnight.
I really need to sleep.
I wanna read my cheesy novels.
Must take a vacation.
Alone.
And invent drama in my head.
Just to cry.
And laugh.
I want my old life back.
When I was 16.
When I used to create drama, not live it.
My stomach really hurts.
I'm gonna regret staying up and not eating tomorrow.
I wanna feel what it's like to faint.
And be physically helpless.
But nothing about stomach ache and limbs or body parts missing.
I just want to feel like a damsel in distress.
Physical distress.
Something really feminine.
Like faint heart.
But not permanently.
Just for a touch of drama.
And (yeah, fine) attention.
Tummy issues aside, I'm really, really fit.
And sometimes I wish I'm not.
Oh oh.
Split ends.
Guess I have to cut them now.
How long has it been since the last time?
No idea.
I just know this is the longest length I have had the patience to grow them.
Hope it'll rain tomorrow.
Love rain.
Love storm.
Love free time.
I've forgotten I used to be nocturnal.
Especially during summer vacations.
That is, when I was still in school.
I missed it.
I really, really miss it.
Just look at the pile I've made.
Of hair.
My hair.
Those dead ones that feel itchy when pulled.
Love doing that.
Gotta look for the increasing white population.
Must not tie hair when wet anymore.
Gotta go.
Need to feign sleep.
Night.
080508 tue 12:38am
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