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maliit na bato
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Monday, May 07, 2007
that guy
Blast From the Past has reappeared once again (redundant intended). Remember him, the guy formerly known as That Subic Stranger, or sometimes, Suddenly Him? I got in touched with him again. Surprisingly, he told me more about his life in our ym sessions than he ever did in the 8 years I've known him. Should I be worried that the ever secretive bro I knew now cared to tell me something about him? Isn't that what I wanted? No amount of tantrums or parinig ever made him give in to share a tidbit about him. And I thought that was unfair because he kept asking about mine. And because I was eager to tell someone, I did. With great enthusiasm. Pathetic me. So pathetic me.
But now, not only did I found out he was married (1st ym conversation in eons), he also has a kid. And not only that, he is now in Ireland (the Boyzone country). But wait! There's more! He has also posted his picture in his ym avatar. Talk about being anonymous!
Kind of eerie to think about it. Really, really think about it. Where has my online buddy gone now? My anonymous, secretive, mysterious online bro? My original curiosity appeased, now I just want to talk about myself. Kind of selfish, I know. But before when he was being so selfishly mysterious, I was able to talk about what's happening to myself and just be vain about centering the universe around me.
Nah!
Who am I kidding? I like now that he's been talking. Makes me feel less guilty than I should be talking to strangers. But it had been a blow to know that he had a girl (more so now he is married). And no, not because of what you are thinking. Jealousy has nothing to do with it. Do you hear me? Nothing. It just has something to do with his promise that he would tell me first if he likes someone and I would be the one to determine if she's right for him and vice versa. You know, that childish crap. And yes, I did believe him. What child of 17 did not? Yes, I was still a child back then. It was a power I had I intended on taking full responsibility of. It was like giving a child power over her parents or better yet, yaya. And of course, it's uhm... sweet (I wouldn't use the other word) in a way. And I did kept my end of the bargain. I asked for his approval for my ex and he gave it without qualms (something he should never have done!).
So imagine my surprise when he told me he was married since 2003. And she's his 23rd (?) gf already. I honestly just thought he's slow and torpe. And it made me smile that someone still is. I don't know anyone who is that torpe and it was gratifying to know someone who is. And yeah, the other reason which I am not about to mention. Ever. It was foolish to hold a stranger on to his own words but that's what I did. I forgot he is still a stranger. I was hoping he'd be more than that.
So now Blast From The Past is back and boy am I glad that he is! Why? Good question. I don't know. I really don't. Can't shake the answer from me. He's not by any means physically present in my life. He wasn't there then, he's not here now. And I mean that literally. But for my life's drama's sake, he had been one prominent figure that patterned the course of my life from my compact white powder days until today. Whew! That was deep! And true, I'll go as far as admitting that.
So now.
050707 Mon 10:57am
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