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maliit na bato
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Saturday, June 07, 2003
060703 sat 5:59pm
I had a friend in high school who either got married yesterday or will be getting married next week. My friend in the States wasn't accurate in telling me the details, she said she was sworn to secrecy (and that's secret enough for her, thanks for telling me, friend.) Anway, this friend of mine who's getting married (or already got married) was also my nemesis. Well, we didn't really talk about it, I mean we're friends, but as far as we're both concerned, we rival in everything. Words unspoken, words unwritten, just understood. We were always compared to each other when we were in 1st year. I being favored lesser since I got too vocal about the childishness of group attacks and other things. She, being the ever so sweet pleaser, was the darling of the class. She was the one who blurted our secrets and got me in trouble. That was 1st year.
2nd year became all too nice for me. Classes were grouped according to academics standing so the people I didn't like were either in the last or 2nd to the last section. People now were in the same wavelenght as I. It was easy. I was the class treasurer, the social group leader (in-charge of the social activities), and I was the english student teacher for my heart-throb professor. All too easy, perhaps. She was still in my class. And she made it even easier for me by taking the arduous task of telling our classmates that I was a "unliked" last year. And oh, she did that without my knowing.
Something happened that year. Something that made me realize that she's not the sweeter one between the two of us. I made up my mind then that I wouldn't forgive her. Try to forget her, that's what I intended to do. I couldn't bear someone who couldn't take her own fight. I don't need anyone who needs back ups. I hate spineless people.
I eventually forgave her. That was before graduation. She cried. She said she was really sorry and admitted she wasn't a very good friend. I wanted to tell her I already knew that. But I kept quiet instead. No need to be a bitch that day. I already got her on her knees. I forgave her, yes. But I didn't forget.
3rd and 4th year was a blast. That was because she wasn't in my classes. I got my friends. And I still got them until today. I wasn't a loser in high school. I was popular in my own rights. I was smart. I was appreciated by those who truly matter to the school. I was abhorred by those I'd like to think as weak. You see, I wasn't an ass-kisser like my friend there. I may not had popular decisions, but I didn't need that to stand out. I didn't need their approval. I didn't know why she did, she was also smart (even smarter in academics than me). But perhaps, not too smart.
So now, I got the news 3 weeks ago that she was getting married because she got pregnant. No judgment. Really, you're not going to get that from me. She told my friend in the States that she got envious of her sister having her own family. Okay. I understand that. I wouldn't if she was forced in hand because of her condition. On second thought, I might have accepted that more since she was a pleaser. I understand that that was what she really wanted. Good for her. I just couldn't help but comment on how things are now, four years later. There's not much difference between the two of us. She had gotten her way, I got mine. Not really what I expected but still hoping I'd get over it. She still can't take control of her big mouth, can't even keep her own secrets. I still can't reveal much about myself, I'm not that daring. Can't really admit it to ourselves but we are still competing with each other.
The big difference between the two of us: she's married, I'm not.
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