posted by anne at
8:30 PM
Monday, April 07, 2003
040303 thu 8:56am
The biggest influence I had in college was by this classmate of mine from 1st to 2nd year. He was no doubt the most silent in the whole university. He may seem impassive at most times but the truth is, this guy is far from being impassive. He may not show you that he gives a damn on whatever is happening in the class, well, maybe he doesn’t really care on that. But on more important notes, he cares.
He sits calmly at the back and watches his classmates go berserk over trivial things. He may not be the most popular guy there is, and certainly he is not Mr. I’m-so-friendly-you-should-be-kissing-my-ass-for-smiling-at-you. You would even be lucky to spot him in the pool of the talkatives. But the truth is, it is a privilege to have been given opportunity to speak with him.
There are those whom you like to have an intelligent conversation with but never gonna get it from them. There are those whom you like to have a quiet non-sense talk with but instead you end up shouting at each other. There are those whom you get either way but end up draining your whole energy (I meant this last one to be a good thing, that only means I’m really into our talk.). There are those who’ll require you to pay attention to them as they flaunt their intellectual capacity. But with him, I get intelligent conversations and feels I have not been drained of anything, be it energy or intellect.
Tana once said that if she would be trapped on a deserted island with Ronnie, she would definitely feel safe that he would not do anything to her. Not that Ronnie’s gay, no, he is definitely not. But she believes that Ronnie has no malice bones in his body. And any boyfriend would be an idiot to even be jealous of him. I would have agreed to that if I didn’t know Ronnie developed a crush on her and was planning on courting her. I know Ronnie; he certainly can be trusted in a deserted island. But my bet for that position would be the classmate whom I was talking about.
He told me he doesn’t have plans on getting married someday. He would just settle down to be single and happy. Girls were the last of his list. I couldn’t say he is looking forward to single blessedness; he is sort of an agnostic Catholic. What matters, I think, is that he has plans for himself.
He maybe silent but he is far from being voiceless. He is a writer, a very good one. And not to mention, the best poet there is. Although I see poems as either nice rhymes or just plain long fragments, I see his as works of art. And I honest to goodness mean that. that is why when he gave me one of his works, I couldn’t stop myself from showing it off. I may not understand poems but I know this one is a masterpiece.
When I said in the beginning that he is my biggest influence, I didn’t mean I suddenly developed a talent in poetry. No, that’s not it. I still can’t rhyme or even create fragments. What I meant was I have learned to shut up. I was known in the class as one of the most opinionated of our kind. I would contradict anyone just to give an argument. Even if I had the same view. I had remained that way until I reached my 3rd year in college. I suddenly felt I needed to shut up and shut down for a while. For a long while. It was a breather at first. I thought this was the rest I needed from all the debating and all the tension I get from it. I keep remembering what he would do in whatever situation. He would just keep quiet and keep the opinions to himself and mentally make those involved look like a fool for even bothering. And that I have became. Even in my last few months in college where a discussion is about to blow up, the opinionated side of me wanted to get out but the better of me prevailed leaving the whole of me disgruntled.
I couldn’t totally blame him for my sudden silence. All he did was be himself. It was really my choice. Plus, it isn’t really a bad thing. For one, it actually made a difference. I found unusual peace.
The thing is, I totally admire and respect this person. He isn’t afraid of being different. You could even trust him with your deepest darkest secret and be confident about secrecy with him. He wouldn’t even let you feel dirty about yourself. He would just accept it as he accepted you.
The silent type who’s afraid of chickens (literally), that’s him. That’s my friend.
Thank you, Mon.
